I Dreamt My Cat Was Human

A strange vision had haunted my nightmares last night,

Of my cat turning human by the midnight’s moonlight.

I recoiled in great horror at the sight that I saw,

There was no more cat left, from its ears to its paws.

“Who are you sir?” I asked “And for my cat must I grieve?”

But he replied, “No its me, but you can just call me Steve.”

“Oh great.” I reacted “He can help me pay rent!”

Yet, on his rear end, would go the time that he’d spent.

After returning home late from a hard day at work,

Recieved a “where is my dinner?” from this self-centred jerk.

Then, after drinking my sorrows, I returned one-night drunk,

To catch him nude on the couch with his tongue on his junk.

When Steve did his business, it ended up on the floor,

He’d wait for me to clean it, then just poop some more.

In the basement I wandered, to see where had my dog been,

And in the dryer he tumbled, hot and sick, but quite clean.

In the morning I awoke to a purr and some sass,

As a feline he’s adoreable, but as a human, an ass.