Everyone knows that diamonds are created under pressure. The pressure and heat deep inside the earth’s crust transformed the diamonds from the clumps of carbon that they once were and they are something much more unique and valuable now.
When the pressure is on, sometimes I don’t even allow myself to accept the fact that I’m going out of my god damn mind with stress. I keep telling myself that I’m good, everything will work itself out, there’s no need to stress, but in the back of my mind, there’s a red siren blaring “Danger!” as if North Korea just released it’s first well assembled nuclear warhead and its target destination is my condo. On the outside, I’m stable and calm. On the inside, I’m an anxious wreck.
Let’s take a break so I can catch my breath…
Okay then. So what was I writing about again?
Ah, yes! Stress. Pressure. Diamonds.
My most recent struggle with pressure and stress has come to me because I have accepted a University admission offer for a great school on the other side of the country. I’m absolutely and completely excited about that. The University of Victoria. It was between that and another school very close to where I am now, but the school close to home was giving me some trouble with my admission and Victoria had a better program and even a better price actually.
Plus… It’s fucking Victoria, British Columbia! That place is amazing. I’ve spent my 28th birthday there for a week and had an absolute blast. I can’t imagine a better place to spend some time for a few years. Hello beautiful scenery, here I come!
I have a blog post on my memories from that trip to Van Isle which can be found here.
There are some major downsides to moving across the country as well though. The most challenging dilemma that I have encountered is the fact that I will need to be away from my daughter for long stretches of time. She’s young and she probably won’t remember all that much about me being away but I’m going to miss the hell out of her. I am going to be writing long love letters to her for her to read when she’s older or at least old enough to understand. That may be the only way that I survive. 😛
Fortunately for me, she has a fantastic mother who is very encouraging and supportive of me and my goals. We are very close even though we are not still together and we have a plan to stay in contact on a near-daily basis as well as plans to visit each other throughout the year, and maybe summer returns for me as well. By the time that I’m done school, I hope that I might be able to come back permanently to wherever she is and be the full-time Dad again. Tricky situation, but this is a dream of mine basically and I’m compelled to do it.
I admit that my coping mechanisms are not always the best and sometimes I have a tendency to grab a drink or a joint when times are rough, but I’m working on this. One of my main objectives is to lead a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally so let’s just say addressing this issue is on my to-do list, and with further honesty, it’s been usually more of a six-pack than a single beer.
Shortly after I began writing this article yesterday I received a phone call from my bank informing me that someone had e-transferred $1000 out of my bank account and that my accounts had been compromised. This most likely was the result of a trojan virus that I picked up on my laptop 2 days ago. I spent most of the rest of my day on the phone with various companies to secure my identity and accounts, also changing all of my passwords and completely wiping the hard drive clean on my infected laptop. It was a shit show.
After dealing with part of my muffler falling off, the virus on my laptop and now my accounts being hacked I was absolutely stressed. On side of all of that, I’ve been dealing with my injury, my insurance company, and planning for school. I’ve been keeping pretty busy for a dude that doesn’t have to wake up and go to work in the morning.
Although, with everything that’s happened over these past few days and even the nightmare scenario that was yesterday, I try my best not to let it get me down because enduring the pressures in my life is only going to better serve to make me that diamond that I one day hope to be. Maybe I seem like a clump of carbon right now, but just you wait. 😉